The Congressmother is in trouble As Hal Holbrook’s Deep Throat told Robert Redford’s Bob Woodward, a conspiracy like this you build from the outer edges and go step by step. Shoot too high and miss, everyone feels safer. The Feds must be inside the castle walls. They’re dragging Carolyn Cheeks-Kilpatrick’s office manager before the grand jury. Hopefully, for her sake, the Congressmother’s... Read more→

State to demolish Matty Moroun’s sunblocker This was a tough weekend for Mr. Smithers Dan Stamper. His boss, and object of his homoerotic fantasies, C. Montgomery “Matty” Moroun, has to demolish his fancy new duty free store because the Bridge Company violated pesky property laws. Typical government over-regulation. These judges, with their “precedent” and “rule of law,” don’t care... Read more→

Lansing seeks education funds, cuts education funds Jennifer Granholm is super excited to start her ride-out-the-clock year with a legislative package to win us some of that sweet, sweet Race to the Top federal money. After all, children are our most precious resource. Except for all the other resources that are protected from that extra $165-per-pupil funding. Education is a priority as long as... Read more→

Detroit teachers: we’ll take our chances, thanks The city’s education professionals will not take this proposed contract lying down. They do not care for the $10,000 giveback loan so they’re like: fuck it, bring on Chapter 9. At least that appears to be the consensus of teachers who attended Sunday’s shindig at Cobo Hall. The Steve Conn All-Stars will enjoy that post-bankruptcy $36,000 pay... Read more→

No one will find Art Blackwell in Windsor Art Blackwell was going to Canada but the judge was like: you have money stashed in Windsor, felony charges pending, and (oh yeah) like $1,000,000 in gambling debts. When did Art suddenly become Pete Rose? Blackwell told the judge he only has $300 stashed in Windsor (probably in singles for the ballet) and he accrued those gambling debts over five years when... Read more→

Your move, civic leader Peter Karmanos Famous compuman and destroyer of the Hartford Whalers, Peter Karmanos, must have done something really, really awful. Convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick has pictures. Or, at least, copies of dubious no-bid contracts. That explains why Karmanos hired the convicted perjurer but it doesn’t explain why he hasn’t yet fired Kilpatrick. Zero sales in six months as... Read more→

Dave Bing to world: little help? Ten months ago, convicted felon Kwame Kilpatrick left office because all of his work was complete. The city, according to the convicted perjurer, had a balanced budget and Papa John’s opened in the city. Also people enjoyed that Super Bowl. Detroit was back, baby! Then all hell broke loose. First, Joe Harris used some new age alchemy known as “honest accounting”... Read more→