Mitch Albom and Mateen Cleaves watch basketball game, learn of Tom Izzo’s decision It was a dark and stormy night, and Tom Izzo remains MSU’s basketball coach. Across the state, at orphanages and in charity hospitals, sickly children bravely cough huzzahs of approval. Everything is back to normal. But is it, really? Can it ever be? Or has the Izzo-to-the-Cavs storyline taken a little bit of our... Read more→

Dave Bing’s secret plot for global domination Public relations are for sissies. Dave Bing doesn’t go in for that fairy transparent government stuff. Instead, he convenes secret meetings and avoids public comment about pretty much everything. That’s why his most paranoid critics are able to spin bizarre conspiracy theories. Trails of tears! Pretty soon Agnes Hitchcock will have Bing as The... Read more→

The voice of the turtle and all that jazz It’s Opening Day! The Tigers arrive at Comerica Park after heroically taking two of three in Kansas City. Jeremy Bonderman is healthy. Miguel Cabrera is sober. Dontrelle Willis is sane. And Justin Verlander is as dreamy as ever. In a completely heterosexual, he can win 25 games kind of way. We don’t want to get ahead of ourselves, but the Tigers are clearly... Read more→

2011 will be less awful Our decade of misery is finally coming to an end. By this time next year, your family can get off the relief and leave that Bushville shanty town on the edge of the abandoned Pulte subdivision. Everyone will have a good job. Well, if you still have a job in 2011 then you probably won’t get laid off. We’ve stopped the bleeding. See? Jennifer Granholm said that in five years…you... Read more→

Entire state needs Robert “Bob” Bobb The ongoing effort to make Michigan economically competitive with Costa Rica and Haiti is bankrupting our schools. According to awful radio host/worse columnist Paul W. Smith, that’s because evil Barack HUSSEIN Obama won’t give Michigan a giant bag of federal (socialist?) money. Or, maybe, our culture values boats in the driveways of our vinyl-sided... Read more→

Did you know only one of the Columbine victims was African-American? Because of racism! And only Sam Riddle was brave enough to speak out about this injustice. Or something. We’re getting this from the Michigan Citizen’s Diane Bukowski and she’s never been much for details. Or facts. She certainly never lets facts get between her and a strident polemic on the class struggle. Read more→ SHARETHIS.addEntry({... Read more→

Peter Hoekstra is yellow Oh God, why are we still talking about that half-wit who tried to blow up his underwear on an airplane? Because Peter Hoekstra is scared and he’s hoping you’re scared so you’ll send him monies. Hoekstra will use that cash to run for governor so he can protect our airplanes. Not like that European fairy guy did with actual heroism but with more fundraising letters and... Read more→

Mike Bishop, Jennifer Granholm totally having hate sex We have no proof, you understand, but there is no better explanation for the ongoing budget mess. It’s like a bad 1980’s sitcom. Two strong-willed characters of the opposite sex fight and fight until they finally kiss. Then Granholm and Bishop shift gears and it stops being a bad 1980’s sitcom and becomes late-night Cinemax programming.... Read more→

Repairing School Board as likely as repairing that Ford run over by a train Too soon? Whatever. Stephen Henderson’s Sunday column was spot-on. The Detroit School Board is giant clump of stupid that cannot be salvaged. It’s a perfect example of the excesses of unfettered democracy not unlike Robespierre’s Committee of Public Safety. We might as well write-in Mickey Mouse, Jimmy Hoffa, or... Read more→

John Conyers just likes toxic waste wells Way back in 2003, John Conyers wiped the drool from his aged chin and announced his opposition to deep injection wells. He also mumbled something about Jesus and our precious bodily fluids natural resources. Then flaming cheese kingpin Jim Pappas bought the wells and John Conyers decided that maybe he was wrong about this whole toxic well thing. Drilling... Read more→